“Ya gottta’ throw strikes.” Those were the instructions from my
well-intentioned high school baseball coach after I walked four batters
in a row…without throwing a single strike. After 16 consecutive bad
pitches, he called a time out, approached the mound and said, “Do you
know what you need to do? Ya gotta’ throw strikes.” I remember
thinking, “You’ve got to be kidding me? That’s it? That’s your advice?
That doesn’t help me. Give me something tangible. Fix my delivery.
Change my wind-up. But don’t tell me I’ve gotta throw strikes.”
As my coach turned to walk away from the mound, the comedian in me was greatly tempted to say, “Amazing! I wish I would have been gifted with that nugget of wisdom in the first inning. Strikes are good! That’s incredible information. Thank you, coach. Now, give me a high five before you head back to the dugout so I can continue this never-ending inning of joy and bliss. What would I ever do without you?”
Communication
While the temptation was great, making comments like that wouldn’t have served a purpose other than to satisfy my 16 year old ego. And let’s face it, my baseball coach’s intentions weren’t bad. He wanted to help me but he didn’t know how to communicate effectively. And that is something we have all been guilty of at some point in our lives. How often do we say things to one another such as, “smile”, “just relax”, “be confident”, “know your audience” and my favorite, “be yourself”? When we use statements like these in an attempt to help, we are not solving a problem, we are pointing out a problem that needs to be solved.
As a communication coach, I pride myself on showing instead of telling and strive for instruction that is tangible, not statements that are obvious. While I’m not always successful, I try my best to keep things active, by offering up concrete exercises that are results oriented and conceptually simple.
Improvisation
When I went to Northwestern University to study Theater, I was introduced to improvisation and at that moment my world and my style of communication training was forever changed.
Improvisation is the science of thinking quickly on your feet and reacting instantaneously in the moment. Through improvisation we finally have the chance to “exercise” our communication muscles the same way we build our bodies by lifting weights in a gym.
I’ve found that telling an athlete to stand taller, speak louder, or stay confident simply does not resonate with them. So instead, I give them exercises that keep it simple, make sense and help them to stay active.
Collecting Coins
An introductory game I like to play when I work with junior or professional athletes and teams is called “Coins”. Instead of telling athletes to smile, I challenge them to think of things, also known as coins, which make them smile. For example, what things about themselves do they find really interesting? What makes them unique and special? Is there anything they’ve accomplished that they feel sets them apart from the rest?
And then there is a twist. If you are a young athlete, you cannot use your sport or video games as a coin. And as an adult, you cannot use what you do for a living as a coin. You will be amazed at how challenging it is to come up with a short list of coins when sports, video games and work are taken out of play. They are all too obvious. But once you start thinking about things outside of the obvious, you’ll start to realize you have so much to offer. Examples of coins could be your pets, family, siblings, travel, cooking, music, languages you speak, ethnicity, art, school, fashion, reading, writing, etc. In other words, it can be whatever makes you smile or causes you to shine.
Coins can become your source of confidence. They can become conversation topics. Coins can even be the answer to “tell me about yourself”. Just thinking about your coins should simply put a smile on your face.
So, I promise I will not tell you to “smile more”. However, I will challenge you to think of things that make you smile in hopes that it will get you to start “throwing strikes”.
I look forward to sharing more results oriented exercises as we explore the importance of communication, self-awareness and overall social confidence.
Until then, I challenge you to start collecting your coins!
As my coach turned to walk away from the mound, the comedian in me was greatly tempted to say, “Amazing! I wish I would have been gifted with that nugget of wisdom in the first inning. Strikes are good! That’s incredible information. Thank you, coach. Now, give me a high five before you head back to the dugout so I can continue this never-ending inning of joy and bliss. What would I ever do without you?”
Communication
While the temptation was great, making comments like that wouldn’t have served a purpose other than to satisfy my 16 year old ego. And let’s face it, my baseball coach’s intentions weren’t bad. He wanted to help me but he didn’t know how to communicate effectively. And that is something we have all been guilty of at some point in our lives. How often do we say things to one another such as, “smile”, “just relax”, “be confident”, “know your audience” and my favorite, “be yourself”? When we use statements like these in an attempt to help, we are not solving a problem, we are pointing out a problem that needs to be solved.
As a communication coach, I pride myself on showing instead of telling and strive for instruction that is tangible, not statements that are obvious. While I’m not always successful, I try my best to keep things active, by offering up concrete exercises that are results oriented and conceptually simple.
Improvisation
When I went to Northwestern University to study Theater, I was introduced to improvisation and at that moment my world and my style of communication training was forever changed.
Improvisation is the science of thinking quickly on your feet and reacting instantaneously in the moment. Through improvisation we finally have the chance to “exercise” our communication muscles the same way we build our bodies by lifting weights in a gym.
I’ve found that telling an athlete to stand taller, speak louder, or stay confident simply does not resonate with them. So instead, I give them exercises that keep it simple, make sense and help them to stay active.
Collecting Coins
An introductory game I like to play when I work with junior or professional athletes and teams is called “Coins”. Instead of telling athletes to smile, I challenge them to think of things, also known as coins, which make them smile. For example, what things about themselves do they find really interesting? What makes them unique and special? Is there anything they’ve accomplished that they feel sets them apart from the rest?
And then there is a twist. If you are a young athlete, you cannot use your sport or video games as a coin. And as an adult, you cannot use what you do for a living as a coin. You will be amazed at how challenging it is to come up with a short list of coins when sports, video games and work are taken out of play. They are all too obvious. But once you start thinking about things outside of the obvious, you’ll start to realize you have so much to offer. Examples of coins could be your pets, family, siblings, travel, cooking, music, languages you speak, ethnicity, art, school, fashion, reading, writing, etc. In other words, it can be whatever makes you smile or causes you to shine.
Coins can become your source of confidence. They can become conversation topics. Coins can even be the answer to “tell me about yourself”. Just thinking about your coins should simply put a smile on your face.
So, I promise I will not tell you to “smile more”. However, I will challenge you to think of things that make you smile in hopes that it will get you to start “throwing strikes”.
I look forward to sharing more results oriented exercises as we explore the importance of communication, self-awareness and overall social confidence.
Until then, I challenge you to start collecting your coins!
